Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Let the Christmas Cheer Begin!

Let the Christmas Cheer Begin!



‘Tis the time of year to get Christmas pictures taken, sign endless Christmas cards, attend multiple holiday functions, shop, cook, bake, travel, and shop some more! Let’s not loose the real meaning of Christmas while hanging lights, and caroling. It is easy to get too busy buying, and shipping those gifts to miss the real GIFT of the season – Our Savior’s birthday! Merry Christmas!




And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that the entire world should be taxed. And all went to be taxed everyone to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city called Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her first born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them at the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone about them; and they were sore afraid. And the angel said to them,

Fear not: for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born today in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will towards men And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another,

Let us go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.

And they came with haste, and found, Mary, Joseph and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

The Gospel according to St. Luke Chapter 2 verses 1-20.


From our family to yours… Merry Christmas!




Monday, December 1, 2008

Neighborly Christmas

Well, its the first of December and yes, we have a Christmas tree up. Why? Well, we host the neighborhood Christmas party every year since we moved into this neighborhood. It helps us reconnect beyond the friendly waves we share year round. I originally started it so we could get to know our neighbors better. There was already a couple that hosted 4th of July, and one for Valentines Day.
We live in a great neighborhood. Folks are ready and willing to watch your home for ya, should you take a holiday away. We have experienced this and have gladly done the same for others. I've never lived in a place before where folks are so free to give you a key to their home. The trust here is just amazing!
Once when I was at work, I got a call from my neighbor across the street, he asked me if anyone was supposed to be at our home. I didn't think so, and told him such. Bless his heart, he had the guys plates run that was taking a break in our driveway. "That person has no business being there, didn't he see the Neighborhood watch sign?" were the words coming out of the phone. I smiled. We have the pleasure of several police officers living in our area also. They are but a phone call away.
During the year, we call each other when we find sales on gardening and landscaping supplies. We have been known to go out of town together to pick a batch of blueberries for a Fourth of July celebration. Any extras from a sale, or the garden - brace yourself for they are coming to your door! It is grand to know that if you are short an egg or cup of milk, it is a pleasure for them to come to your aid!
One set of neighbors found out our youngest takes our recycling to school, now he takes theirs also! We count our neighbors when we count our blessings!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Charlie Brown Christmas


I don't know about you, but this video was a "must see" favorite of my family as I was growing up. As a child this is what started my Christmas season. I knew it was but a few days until the tree would go up, and presents would start appearing!

Almost every year there was a Christmas play of some sort that at least one of us kids was involved in! Sometimes we would drive around and look at lights, we would attend church for all the Christmas specials. At school there was excitement about the time away, but also the fun things we were making to take home as our own gifts to put under the tree! The big brown UPS truck would be watched for daily, as packages would come from others that couldn't be with us at Christmas time.

Ahhh, the worry free days of childhood. The biggest stress I had was hoping that what I had made for mom for Christmas would get a big smile and a hug. I had no need for money, I had no where to be, no time schedule.

I remember watching as some grown ups would sit there with no presents. I remember asking my grandpa once why he wasn't sad he didn't have anything. Smiling, he told me that he already had his gift, and that was the time with us. We would play board games, and if there was a new toy, Grandma and Grandpa were the first ones to show us how they worked.

I remember thinking that I didn't want to grow up because Christmas without presents would really stink! But you know, as an adult, I've discovered that the best Christmas gift is that time with friends and loved ones. There are many that will not be with us this year, and for that I'm sad, but it will make the time with those still here all the more precious.

The time with our families. Sitting in the floor playing dominoes with the boys, or dressing and redressing a Barbie doll with a niece, making a dish with grandma.. listening to the men folk talk and share stories. This is what I want for Christmas this year!

Puppy Love

Our family was blessed enough to have some time together this weekend just us. We went to see the new Madagascar movie. While waiting for it to start we settled into our theater seats to watch the previews.  Seems there are a lot of puppy/dog movies coming out.  Let’s see there are Bolt, an animated film, Marley and Me, and some movie about kids rescuing strays and hiding them in an abandoned building.  Everyone likes a good dog movie/show/cartoon. With 101 Dalmatians, Lady and the Tramp, Marmaduke, Odie, Scooby Doo, Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Shaggy D.A., Benji, Beethoven, and Old Yeller to watch growing up it seemed that having a dog was just what a family did.

We were parents of the year when little Sasha came home. Dogs are pretty great to have around once you potty train them, get past the first big vet bills, and they recognize the house rules. Ha! Sasha loves to play fetch, and she is great about bringing it back. She has the energy to take a walk or two, run around the house and back yard with the kids, yet she also loves to climb up into a warm lap in the evenings.

She is such an excitable little thing. For instance, when any of us gets home at the end of the day, you are greeted like you have been gone forever. She wiggles in a half moon arch all around your legs, until you thrill her with a good scratching behind the ears, or better yet, pick her up! Since she is all of 5 pounds on a heavy day, she is toted around quite a bit!

Which leads me to my point…wouldn’t it be great if we all treated one another with that same adoration?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


It's cold outside. Brrr. The leaves are falling, and the crisp, crunchy sound they make as we walk across the yard means it's time to start thinking of the holidays! The HOLIDAYS? (Cue the sound of a record being scratched to a sudden stop)
It's hard to believe that next week is Thanksgiving! Ya know, most of the time I love Thanksgiving more than Christmas! At Thanksgiving we all get together, those of us that can, and some odds and ends of us too.. and we all bring a dish to a wonderful feast. There are no big decorations for this event. No major lines to stand in to purchase our turkey for .10 cents a pound if we are the first ten in line at the grocery store.
Its a time to catch up on the latest family news; a time to be thankful. A day to just overall, relax.
Usually I spend part of the Thanksgiving day perfecting my strategy for Black Friday. I must admit in the past, it was a ritual. Friends/family and I would get together and plot and plan. Who was going to stand where and what treasure was the goal?
I'm wondering what it will be like this year. The news spills nothing but doom and gloom for our economy. However, the soldiers are back with heavy wallets. I think here in Clarksville, it will be a good day for local retailers.
I'm not sure if I will go out early this year. Right now, the idea of staying home in the warmth of my pj's with family around me sounds really good.
Maybe we will all be able to focus more on the relationships we have formed, are forming, and continue to nurture this year. After all, what matters most is the time we spend together. Those priceless memories that can conjure up a smile on the dreariest of days - that is what I want to work on this holiday season.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Life is a Vapor

Today I’m reflecting on hearing the news of an acquaintance that died yesterday in his home. He was 53. He was in church Sunday. We even spoke to one another.

Would he have lived his last Sunday and Monday differently if he knew Tuesday he would no longer be here? He wasn’t old. This man was a godly man, I’m positive he is even now, worshiping at the feet of our Lord. It’s another reminder that life is so short.

Growing up, I remember hearing from the adults around me of how fast the time was going. Yet for me it seemed that time drug on! The school week was exceptionally agonizing. I was always counting the days/weeks/months until the next chunk of time school was out.

I yearned for 16, experienced that, however, it wasn’t a big deal for me. Eighteen was the next biggie. When I turned 18 I already had two semesters of college behind me! All I knew about turning 18 was that somehow I was legal. Now I could be put in jail, I was able to vote. I was driving, had pledged into a sorority and honestly still, time moved rather slowly. 21, wow, I’m planning to be married, school and work are still taking up a big part of my life.

25, hmmm seems like just yesterday. My sweetheart joined the USAF, and we are expecting our first baby, we’re away from home; experiencing colic, diapers, and sleeplessness. I'm 27, baby number 2 is on the way, my sweetheart is on tour overseas. Time is now picking up pace with potty training, and a brand new baby in the house. First day of Kindergarten, now I’m expected to respond to Mrs. when my name is called out? When did that happen? Yes, I mean I know that I’m the parent, but wow; am I really one of those adults I just didn’t understand growing up? When did that happen? I’m still cool: I think.

All I know is once you have children; your life is never the same. Time and money are spent differently than before. Somehow it is more important to see that crooked little smile than it is to have that designer bag.

I’m 36 now; both boys are in school, our oldest started middle school this year! Between work, PTA meetings, recitals, practices, homework, and their social schedules time is moving even faster today. We are actually going from event to event. Our days of the week are marked more by activities than the actual date. This is why all of the sudden when I exercise the lost art of writing a check I honestly have to look up the date!

It is already the eleventh month of 2008! Where has the year gone?

Spring consisted of my sweetheart having appendicitis, a visit to our friends in Germany, a new puppy, my sweetheart earning his Bachelor of Science degree. Summer, uggggh all the politics, summer camp, soccer camp, VBS, and mission trips. Fall, another school year, the puppy with a cast on her back leg, adjustments to middle school, a new president, and preparations for Thanksgiving are now underway! Where has the time gone?

We’ve all read the emails, or seen the poems about appreciating one another as we don’t know when they will no longer be with us. Taking time to do the little things that as we grow older we find out are the big things of life.

Today, I’m taking a moment to take an inventory of my life so far, my family, my friends, my church, and my commitments. If I am to not be here tomorrow, would anything I do today have any impact on the future? Would I do anything differently?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Life as a People Pleaser Sucks

Ever been guilted into doing something you wouldn't do on your own? Ever been guilted into filling in for someone, going somewhere you didn't want to?
How about this one? Have you ever been guilted into going too; or being involved in church? There are many today that fall into this category. What's up with that? Can't you be a Christian and still have a life?
I accepted Christ at a young age, I've been in church my whole life. The older I got, the more involved I got in church, some of my own doing, most at the urgency of others. This turned into being involved everywhere, on committees, as a chaperone, as a volunteer.
Ya know, when I asked to take some personal, family time, guess what I got? One of the pastors gave me a book on how to have a servant heart. A SERVANT HEART? Can you imagine? I thought it was enough that I was working extra, that I was pulling more than my own weight around the church. When I was not a vital part, then I worked behind the scenes. This is where I started to experience burn out.
When I went to the pastor to ask what was going on with me, it was all attributed to spiritual warfare and how I needed to get back in touch with my servant heart. (more on spiritual warfare later) He told me that if we are physically working for the church, yet our heart is not in it, God sees and doesn't reward. MORE GUILT! He reaches over to his shelf, mutters and pulls out a book.
"Read it and get back to me" he says. I complied. (feeling guilty I even opened my mouth). I left his office feeling very guilty, very selfish. This book was all about the sacrifices of modern day Christians and how there is no way no matter what we do, that we can ever make up for what Christ has done for us. Doesn't that seem hopeless to you? I'm sure it was meant to inspire a struggling Christian, but it had the opposite effect on me.
Rules, there are so many of them. If you follow all the rules, and are seen on Sunday morning, you are a "good" person. hmmmph. Being a "good person" exhausts me!
I brought the book back and was asked what did I think? Now, I know the 'Sunday school answers" to give for such a question, and to keep from being made to feel worse, I just gave the one the pastor was looking for. Inside however, I was searching.
As I was going through this 'struggle' our family started visiting other churches. I wanted to experience church like I did on the mission field. (where people were worshipping, serving, and where people came because they wanted to.) The God I fell in love with, the One who spoke quietly to me, the one who taught rest, that is the One I was searching for. My God didn't care what people wore, or didn't for that fact, where they lived, or what they could put into the offering plate!
At the time I was not happy to be going through this trial. But because I did, our family has found a church where yes, we serve, but with others! There is no guilt! No one there expects me, or my family to be there every time the doors are open. If we miss a week, yes, we are missed lovingly, not guilted next time we are seen. Due to this.. the church is growing, with growth comes more volunteers!
In all truth, God never left me, He merely moved me, our whole family into another church where if you feel lead to serve, serve. If you don't, come in and rest. It was okay! What a concept! Yes, there is such a church! And it's here in TN!
Personally, in my Bible I searched desperately for some verse, something tangible that I could hold on to that would let me know that God is not glorified by guilt, He doesn't move through guilt.
John 16: 33, " I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
Matthew 6: 34, " So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Romans 5:1, " Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us."
Colossians 3: 15, " let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts."
I believe God is not a god of discord, of restlessness, of guilt. Even God rested on the seventh day! God rested! He is a God of rest, peace!
I don't know where or what time in our culture we figured that he/she that is the busiest has the most fulfillment out of life, or is the better Christian. I challenge you to find that in the Bible. I haven't been able to.
God is calling all of human kind to Him. He has given us free will to either commit or turn from Him. We love our church family and pray for God to change hearts so that all churches can be a place of healing, of grace. God does want us to serve, but not when it is a detriment to ones self. If, and I believe He did create me, then I am a holy creation. I need to take care of myself by eating right, exercising, and yes, rest.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Wii Music

Saturday our baby boy turned nine. Nine. Wow. Time flies. One of the presents he received was Wii Music.
What fun our family has had so far! There are 16 different instuments that one can "play". There is a timer on the bottom that ticks off the rythm so you keep in sync with your online character.
Both boys have taken their turns on their own and together leading an orchestra, and making thier own music video. Building up a band, and choosing which sound they want to achieve by selecting different instruments allows for many possibilities. They even get to design a CD jacket for their new video! It seems that the further along you go by mastering different songs you earn new ones! Hooray!
I thought about waiting until Christmas to read the reviews on this newest Wii game, but glad we now have the advantage over those who don't have this neat game as of yet!

Monday, November 3, 2008


Sasha six week old rat terrier

Happiness is a warm Puppy

"Happiness is a warm puppy" said Charlie Brown in reference to Snoopy. I didn't truly understand this until I had my own puppy.
Puppies are grand aren't they? Little critters so full of energy and eager to please! Our family adopted such a pup in May of this year. A little rat terrier. Black and white, sweet disposition, determined little bugger. Sasha ( Russian name that means " little fox"), is the name my sweetheart gave to our newest family member.
Our boys have begged for a dog for years. Well, the time had come. We looked at all sorts of dogs. Colors, breeds, disposition, ect. It's hard to walk away from a puppy. But I did. Lots of 'em.
See, I prayed over this. "Lord, let me know for sure which one is the right one". I thought I found such in an adorable lab puppy. No, I remembered how big they get. Cute as can be, but not the right one. I looked at cute little jack russel terriers! That almost got me. But, I remembered how hyper they can be! And so on, and so on until a day I wasn't even looking.
One of my best friends and I went up to KY to purchase our annual flowers. Amish land. After looking around at some flowers and choosing our favorites, the gentleman who owned the place told us of some puppies that had been born a month ago. I humored him and went looking for them. They were holed up in the barn. Rat terriers (short hair) he said. 5 of them. Three boys and two girls.
My friend and I loved all over the two girls.. why the girls? Because in case you haven't noticed.. I have a hubby, and two boys at home already. I needed to get another girl involved, and having another child is out of the question. Knowing I would be the primary care giver, I felt I got the choice! ha!
The first one was brown and black and white, prettiest little face you have ever seen on a dog. Gorgeous dog. Second one was black and white and all over the place. This cute,little gal had a stump of a tail and was considerably smaller than her older sister. When asked about this, the reply was, "oh that's the runt". She climbed all over her brothers and sister to make it to me. Little booger had determination! My dear friend liked the little one best as the oldest managed to pee all over her! I loved her spirit. This little girl was all over the place! She needed to be if she was going to survive our boys!
I didn't take her home that day however, as I still needed to let her get weaned from momma dog and do a little research and prepare for this little bundle of joy.
I found out that rat terriers are great family dogs. Ours is going to fall under the catagory of "Teddy Roosevelt Rat Terrier". Which basically means she is short legged and will not weigh more than 7-10 pounds. Right now our vet thinks she will not even hit 7.
She came home a little while later and she is now irreplaceable! What a great little dog! She is a content little bugger as she frequently can be heard sighing. Yep, such a deep and profound sigh of utter contentment.
She is a long way from her "days in the barn" scrapping for food!

Timing is Everything

The title of this days blog is one of my sweethearts favorite sayings. This is usually in reference to the art of driving. For our oldest son, in music - timing is everything. If our youngest son is overheard using it, it could be to prank his older brother or in scoring a soccer goal. Me? Depends.
For myself, today at least; it is in reference to God's timing. In Mark (Holy Bible) chapter 6 we find Jesus waiting until the "perfect time" to go out to the boat to save his disciples from the storm. He knew they were struggling, He didn't rush out to save them - He came to them in His time.
I took a step of faith in leaving my job when the economy is in recession and jobs are hard to find. What was I thinking? Have I found a job yet? No.
I will... in God's timing. The Bible is full of God's promises to take care of those that love Him. Is it a struggle? Yes. Especially when I get tempted to go back. Likewise, I'm commanded to have faith and trust God's "timing".
Matthew, Chapter 6, verse 34 " So, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." NLT
Today I will have faith that He has not forgotten me, and He will come through according to His Perfect Timing for my life!

Friday, October 31, 2008


Ahhh. Autumn. Such a beautiful time of year. These days are some that I'm constantly thankful for my eyesight. The beauty of God's creation is everywhere.
Isn't it crazy how a moment in time can shift one's whole day? Not literally -emotionally. I mean to the point where I second guessed myself the rest of the day!
Okay, the background so this is better understood would be appropriate at this time. I had an interview yesterday. A local doctors office needs a front desk person to take and make appointments, file charts, answer the phone, ect. The pay was decent for this area, and when called to come in I was happy to. We went through all the standard questions, then there was a pause. The next question asked of me, shocked me into silence.
"How do you feel about gay people? I am a lesbian, and my life partner and I run this place." If you could see me at this time, surely I had the look on my face of just wittnessing a horrible accident, or crime. Shock yes. (I have been told by several close friends that I shouldn't play poker as I just can't mask my emotions.)
Hopefully I had the look of desperation. Meaning, I was hoping desperately that I would say the right thing and just get out of there. This person continued with, " The rest of the staff is the same way, or they are bi.". Okay here is where I messed up. I said,"excuse me?" meaning surely I heard that wrong. Is this supposed to be asked, why am I here again? Did she say that out loud? What? Huh? Ewww. Just don't EVER touch me. I couldn't say any of these things out loud.. so what physically came out of my mouth was, "excuse me?". She took it as I didn't understand what she meant. To which I got told the vivid picture of what being "bi" means.
Too late. Color is all over my face. I can feel it. My stomach is wretching. I could be sick. I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.
Now there is silence. I mumbled something about how yes, I am capable of working with a person whose lifestyle is this way. However, I would hope that would be kept out of the office.
It was then explained to me that everyone is very "free" around this office to keep open relationships and how this is the truly healthy way to be. That stress is caused by folks being fenced in to certain beliefs on how sex is to be viewed and experienced.
OKAY. I'm mentally done. I have checked out of this conversation. Now it is just a matter of survival.
She continues on to say that since I come from a church, she wasn't sure if I would be the right candidate. 'You got that right lady' my brain said. Out of my mouth came, " I am sure you will find the right person to fill this position. No, I don't feel I am that person." Something about Jesus loving everyone, forgiveness, and how I can't judge also came out as I got up and readied myself to leave. My mind swirled with Bible verses, but this was just not the right time. It was time to escape. We exchanged pleasantries and I was outta there.
Getting into the car, I just cried out to God. Man! Am I thankful I have a God whom I can talk to whenever, or about whatever! I knew He was in there with me, and I just prayed that I was sorry if I disappointed Him, but I needed to go and just scrub my mind pure. Whew. I was never so glad to be out of a place in my life! The rest of the day I just replayed parts of that conversation in my mind questioning what I could have/should have said. And worse, I wondered about any signals I was giving off, or not that maybe I should have. Uggh.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Learning to Rest

I have a dear friend who has recently survived a head on collision. It is amazing she is alive. I call her my broken friend. She is physically, which means she has to rest.
This is a unknown concept to her. Mind you she has a son in college (out of town), a social butterfly daughter that is a sophmore in highschool, and a fifth grade son.
Her life before consisted of working 40-50 hour weeks, taking her daughter to dance, and every other social event in the surrounding counties, her sons football games, taking time to be involved in their schools, and to serve on several community committees. This wreck has caused her to stop. For 12-18 weeks she will not be allowed to drive. She is dependant on everyone else to get her kids to pick- a- place, and if she needs to go to the doctors, physical therapy, ect. She is wearing a back brace, uses a walker to walk, broken wrist makes that difficult, and a right knee brace. She is going no where fast even when she wants to.
Why is it so hard to rest? Personally, I also find it difficult. But God commands us to "Be still and know I am God". Be still? Most of the time, even when I pray it is while I'm doing something. I do make myself stop completely at least once; find a quiet spot, get on my knees, close my eyes and pray.
Will you be able to find time today to just be still? Take time to reflect on what's really important. God,our families, our relationships. That is what will carry us, and our broken friends through the really tough times.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Appreciation Factor

Most of us at one time or another are caught in a school zone. This is a tense area of town, where folks are desperately trying to get to wherever they are headed and we are all out of time. Tensions flare, and yes; fellow motorists are capable of being ugly. Have you ever held up traffic for a couple extra seconds to let a fellow motorist in front of you, or perhaps through to the other side? Most of the time that person will wave a little "thank you" wave and all is well. One feels good for having done a good deed so early in the morning! Great way to start the day. What about the one that didn't? The one who felt they were entitled, and didn't even acknowledge you?
How about having your hands/arms full of bags of groceries, and someone kindly steps aside to let you through the door, or better yet holds it open for you? Did you tell them "thank you!" ?
How about appreciation at work? Most of us were taught at a young age to say, "please" and "thank you". What happened to using it as an adult? In speaking with several different people in various positions in the business world about what one thing they could change in their jobs; its that they want to be appreciated. What? Nothing about more money? That was way down the list of things they would like to change. Surprised?
We all like to know we have done or are doing our job well. Most of us want to know if we are not, and how to improve. Yes, there are evaluations we all get anxious over, but I'm speaking of the day to day work relationships we develop. We tend to spend more time with our co-workers than our families! Shouldn't there be some "appreciation basics" that we all adapt into our everyday conversations? YES!
Imagine what work would be like for the manager whose employees were thankful for their jobs; and employees who were told often how much their work was appreciated? Genuine appreciation given often reaps huge benefits for everyone in the office.
There have been jobs in the past that I have given my all too. I would still be there today if I truly felt that I had made a difference while in that position. Do you realize that by investing some appreciation in someone (be it your employee or your boss) you are creating job stability, and success of that company? Not to mention the value your customers feel just by being around you and your employees! There are waiting lists at such companies as Google, Microsoft, Pepsi, ect. due to the investment the management places in their employees. People want to come to work, productivity goes up, unemployment goes down; what a concept!
It's working! There are actually people called life coaches that go into businesses and meet with the management to "help" them implement basic office etiquette. They get paid to teach folks how to be polite! Maybe I have found my calling!
Until next time, please take time to show your appreciation to others, it's amazing how it will effect your relationships positively!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Emotions under Pressure

Ever want to scream at someone? I mean act like you are four years old again, and just scream at them! A good scream, a good cry, emotional release. What is that like? Do you ever get fed up having to behave like an adult and stuff those emotions down? But we make the conscious choice to do that. Because if we don't....if it gets serious enough, we could be sued, or spend time in a jail cell . Now I'm not on here today to justify anger, rage - any of that stuff. I'm here to just see if there is anyone else out there that has had a run in with someone well meaning or not this week. Someone who's actions left you just ready to scream! Maybe not at them, maybe just by yourself in a room with the door shut. Did you get to release that negativity? That sting to your emotional well being?
What's interesting is over time you either become really good at convincing yourself that shadow you know is there isn't. This adds to the problem as resentment builds, and the possibility of the eruptions of your innermost being sprayed over others becomes a daily, sometimes hourly choice not to unleash it.
We all have different personalities shaped by our upbringing, religious beliefs, personal experiences, ect. Some folks go into sniper mode, others into depression, and others find strength in God.
I'm sure there is a psychologist out there that can give you his/her answer to you. Then the choice becomes, do I buy into this? Or better yet.. there are the ones that give you medication to keep it away. When in fact.. it just buries it further. Its still there.
There have been times I've physically exhausted myself through exercise, or cleaning.. there have been times I've cried, and cried hard. "Just have a good cry, then you will be all better!"
What happens when you have that good cry? Hmmm? Let's just pretend you have an ideal situation. A quiet time when you don't have to be somewhere, no one is around and you can just bawl. Okay, so you bawl, you cry! Do you feel better? Because the person looking back at me in the mirror doesn't. My face looks like I've had an altercation with an airbag. My eyes are puffy, nose is beat red, blotches are all over my upper torso, and I now sport a whopper of a headache.
Did it help? Maybe momentarily. The release was good, but the price for that is huge also. It didn't change the situation, or even the way I feel.
So, do you find a friend, a confidant, exercise, pray, hide from everyone? So far, I pray, along with lots of other activities.. There are many times I have to pray about it again and again. What do you do to release an excess of disappointment, sadness, or...pick an emotion?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hooked on Adjectives

Okay, I know that sounds terribly geeky. I love adjectives. Why? They have the ability to color our world, and it is up to you.. the author to take the reader in whichever direction you choose. The power of a written word, it can evoke emotions instantaneously. Opposite ends of the grammarical spectrum. OOOH! Big words!
In school grammar was flung upon me like a virus. A literal coldsore that had to be dealt with to pass the grade. Picking out the subject and verb were easy enough, but then you had to get into predicate nomitives and the other toxins of the English language. To top it off you got the priveledge of putting together a paper at the end of the semester.
Somehow I could always put enough fluff into my project to pass. But...beware of the red ink pen!
There is one English teacher in particular that this brings to mind. She could take my "best" papers and make them look as if I soaked the paper in red. Literal murder right there in front of my eyes. Scraping up my fragments of thought I would start over. Each time she returned it, there would be less bloodshed. Finally, I deduced she would in all actuality have a paper she herself wrote, but written in my script. Once I figured out that was all I had to do.. I pumped her for information. It was amazing! I succeeded and passed her class with an A!
Today, I will tip my hat to her for making me take my work up a notch. So, today in honor of her, I will start my first blog.