Friday, October 24, 2008

Emotions under Pressure

Ever want to scream at someone? I mean act like you are four years old again, and just scream at them! A good scream, a good cry, emotional release. What is that like? Do you ever get fed up having to behave like an adult and stuff those emotions down? But we make the conscious choice to do that. Because if we don't....if it gets serious enough, we could be sued, or spend time in a jail cell . Now I'm not on here today to justify anger, rage - any of that stuff. I'm here to just see if there is anyone else out there that has had a run in with someone well meaning or not this week. Someone who's actions left you just ready to scream! Maybe not at them, maybe just by yourself in a room with the door shut. Did you get to release that negativity? That sting to your emotional well being?
What's interesting is over time you either become really good at convincing yourself that shadow you know is there isn't. This adds to the problem as resentment builds, and the possibility of the eruptions of your innermost being sprayed over others becomes a daily, sometimes hourly choice not to unleash it.
We all have different personalities shaped by our upbringing, religious beliefs, personal experiences, ect. Some folks go into sniper mode, others into depression, and others find strength in God.
I'm sure there is a psychologist out there that can give you his/her answer to you. Then the choice becomes, do I buy into this? Or better yet.. there are the ones that give you medication to keep it away. When in fact.. it just buries it further. Its still there.
There have been times I've physically exhausted myself through exercise, or cleaning.. there have been times I've cried, and cried hard. "Just have a good cry, then you will be all better!"
What happens when you have that good cry? Hmmm? Let's just pretend you have an ideal situation. A quiet time when you don't have to be somewhere, no one is around and you can just bawl. Okay, so you bawl, you cry! Do you feel better? Because the person looking back at me in the mirror doesn't. My face looks like I've had an altercation with an airbag. My eyes are puffy, nose is beat red, blotches are all over my upper torso, and I now sport a whopper of a headache.
Did it help? Maybe momentarily. The release was good, but the price for that is huge also. It didn't change the situation, or even the way I feel.
So, do you find a friend, a confidant, exercise, pray, hide from everyone? So far, I pray, along with lots of other activities.. There are many times I have to pray about it again and again. What do you do to release an excess of disappointment, sadness, or...pick an emotion?

1 comment:

Teri said...

IMHO, there is no such thing - for me at least - as a "good cry".