Unprepared

Ahhh. Autumn. Such a beautiful time of year. These days are some that I'm constantly thankful for my eyesight. The beauty of God's creation is everywhere.
Isn't it crazy how a moment in time can shift one's whole day? Not literally -emotionally. I mean to the point where I second guessed myself the rest of the day!
Okay, the background so this is better understood would be appropriate at this time. I had an interview yesterday. A local doctors office needs a front desk person to take and make appointments, file charts, answer the phone, ect. The pay was decent for this area, and when called to come in I was happy to. We went through all the standard questions, then there was a pause. The next question asked of me, shocked me into silence.
"How do you feel about gay people? I am a lesbian, and my life partner and I run this place." If you could see me at this time, surely I had the look on my face of just wittnessing a horrible accident, or crime. Shock yes. (I have been told by several close friends that I shouldn't play poker as I just can't mask my emotions.)
Hopefully I had the look of desperation. Meaning, I was hoping desperately that I would say the right thing and just get out of there. This person continued with, " The rest of the staff is the same way, or they are bi.". Okay here is where I messed up. I said,"excuse me?" meaning surely I heard that wrong. Is this supposed to be asked, why am I here again? Did she say that out loud? What? Huh? Ewww. Just don't EVER touch me. I couldn't say any of these things out loud.. so what physically came out of my mouth was, "excuse me?". She took it as I didn't understand what she meant. To which I got told the vivid picture of what being "bi" means.
Too late. Color is all over my face. I can feel it. My stomach is wretching. I could be sick. I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.
Now there is silence. I mumbled something about how yes, I am capable of working with a person whose lifestyle is this way. However, I would hope that would be kept out of the office.
It was then explained to me that everyone is very "free" around this office to keep open relationships and how this is the truly healthy way to be. That stress is caused by folks being fenced in to certain beliefs on how sex is to be viewed and experienced.
OKAY. I'm mentally done. I have checked out of this conversation. Now it is just a matter of survival.
She continues on to say that since I come from a church, she wasn't sure if I would be the right candidate. 'You got that right lady' my brain said. Out of my mouth came, " I am sure you will find the right person to fill this position. No, I don't feel I am that person." Something about Jesus loving everyone, forgiveness, and how I can't judge also came out as I got up and readied myself to leave. My mind swirled with Bible verses, but this was just not the right time. It was time to escape. We exchanged pleasantries and I was outta there.
Getting into the car, I just cried out to God. Man! Am I thankful I have a God whom I can talk to whenever, or about whatever! I knew He was in there with me, and I just prayed that I was sorry if I disappointed Him, but I needed to go and just scrub my mind pure. Whew. I was never so glad to be out of a place in my life! The rest of the day I just replayed parts of that conversation in my mind questioning what I could have/should have said. And worse, I wondered about any signals I was giving off, or not that maybe I should have. Uggh.