Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries






I am a peacekeeper by nature. I don't like conflict and I try to avoid confrontation if at all possible.

However, I have discovered that there is a difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper.

A peacekeeper doesn't help the situation at hand because the issues are still there – just stuffed away for another day which can lead to bitterness and resentment. When I'm a peacemaker I acknowledge the situation and let the other person know I was hurt by their actions.

As far as I know at this point in my life I don't have anyone who is upset with me. I do know that in the general day to day flow there may come a time that I disappoint someone or don't live up to their expectations. Most of the time this cannot be helped. As I get older, I am learning the long and hard way that I cannot control other peoples thoughts. (and I don't want to)

It seems there is always someone or several someones who carry drama with them wherever they go. These folks seem to migrate to me. In the last year maybe a little longer, I started work on healthy boundaries. If I keep these boundaries it helps me keep my distance and restores my sanity. It's not that I don't care, cause I don't like for anyone to hurt or be wronged; but it is not my job to fix it! That is so free-ing!

Healthy boundaries let me back away from certain friendships and family members for a little while, so that Jesus can help me sort my hurt out. Ya know? This is good for me and the hurting person.

I have a precious girlfriend that has become my best friend because while we differ in our reaction to situations, we both truly push each other to be better. Other than Sweetie, I haven't had many people want to invest in me as I was in them. We share a lot of the same goals, and even though we are in different grooves during the week, we meet one another in the middle. Sure, we have disappointed each other, and maybe drew the short end of the stick, but the other one was always there to help pull the other up out of the muck. We know that when it comes down to it, if an error was made, attention will be called to it immediately. This way its aired out and over with!

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
- Anon