Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries






I am a peacekeeper by nature. I don't like conflict and I try to avoid confrontation if at all possible.

However, I have discovered that there is a difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper.

A peacekeeper doesn't help the situation at hand because the issues are still there – just stuffed away for another day which can lead to bitterness and resentment. When I'm a peacemaker I acknowledge the situation and let the other person know I was hurt by their actions.

As far as I know at this point in my life I don't have anyone who is upset with me. I do know that in the general day to day flow there may come a time that I disappoint someone or don't live up to their expectations. Most of the time this cannot be helped. As I get older, I am learning the long and hard way that I cannot control other peoples thoughts. (and I don't want to)

It seems there is always someone or several someones who carry drama with them wherever they go. These folks seem to migrate to me. In the last year maybe a little longer, I started work on healthy boundaries. If I keep these boundaries it helps me keep my distance and restores my sanity. It's not that I don't care, cause I don't like for anyone to hurt or be wronged; but it is not my job to fix it! That is so free-ing!

Healthy boundaries let me back away from certain friendships and family members for a little while, so that Jesus can help me sort my hurt out. Ya know? This is good for me and the hurting person.

I have a precious girlfriend that has become my best friend because while we differ in our reaction to situations, we both truly push each other to be better. Other than Sweetie, I haven't had many people want to invest in me as I was in them. We share a lot of the same goals, and even though we are in different grooves during the week, we meet one another in the middle. Sure, we have disappointed each other, and maybe drew the short end of the stick, but the other one was always there to help pull the other up out of the muck. We know that when it comes down to it, if an error was made, attention will be called to it immediately. This way its aired out and over with!

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
- Anon

Honeycomb!

OOH! Honeycomb! YAY!

Mom sent Cory and I a honeycomb from Colorado. Yummy! Have you ever eaten any before?  It's obviously full of yummy, sweet honey and the comb is best described as like a wax.  You suck the honey out and just kinda chew/suck on the wax. I've known people that eat the wax. I don't, but do like to know that if I did it would be all natural and okay to do so!

What fun! Cory and I love it! It is from a place called Honeyville in Durango, Co.

http://www.honeyville.com/

They have all sorts of flavors of honey, and things made with honey. Awesome website! Check it out when you get a free moment!

August 2, 1997

Cory is 13 today! Wow! Where has the time gone? Thirteen years ago today I thought I knew what I was doing with my day. But Cory had other ideas.

It was a Saturday, and my mom had flown in the day before to be with me the final days before her first grandchild was born. We had prepared a long list of yard sales to go to, then maybe walk this baby out. Cory was due in July and Doc said that if he didn't make an appearance in a couple of days, he was going to induce me. I was walking and walking and walking, as that is what I was told would help.

I thought I would be wandering about town but Cory started letting me know he was ready around 5am. We headed to the hospital and he was born a little after 10 am. Our 8 pound little boy. I remember looking at him in wonder counting his little toes, and just being so thankful. I was a Mom! While that was overwhelming and exciting, I had no idea what I was in for. When the hospital said we could go home, I was concerned we would know enough to keep him alive! It was great having my mom there and then Sweeties parents came in and helped us make it though the first few weeks. I remember the first day Sweetie went to work and everyone was gone and I was alone with Cory. Wow. We learned together. We learned what the different sounds you made meant and what to do when you cried.  I learned all sorts of things that books don't cover being away from home and family. After awhile it was just second nature to tote him around and take him to church, the firestation, hockey games, and the beach. Each new day, it seemed he would discover something new. I tried real hard to capture as much as possible on film. To watch you discover new things and accomplish new feats..it was awesome...

It seemed like no time before you were ready to start your first day of kindergarten. Oh the time  has flown by. Its been fun to watch him grow. He loves music and currently plays violin, piano, and drums. He is now working on the electric guitar he got today!