Ever been guilted into doing something you wouldn't do on your own? Ever been guilted into filling in for someone, going somewhere you didn't want to?
How about this one? Have you ever been guilted into going too; or being involved in church? There are many today that fall into this category. What's up with that? Can't you be a Christian and still have a life?
I accepted Christ at a young age, I've been in church my whole life. The older I got, the more involved I got in church, some of my own doing, most at the urgency of others. This turned into being involved everywhere, on committees, as a chaperone, as a volunteer.
Ya know, when I asked to take some personal, family time, guess what I got? One of the pastors gave me a book on how to have a servant heart. A SERVANT HEART? Can you imagine? I thought it was enough that I was working extra, that I was pulling more than my own weight around the church. When I was not a vital part, then I worked behind the scenes. This is where I started to experience burn out.
When I went to the pastor to ask what was going on with me, it was all attributed to spiritual warfare and how I needed to get back in touch with my servant heart. (more on spiritual warfare later) He told me that if we are physically working for the church, yet our heart is not in it, God sees and doesn't reward. MORE GUILT! He reaches over to his shelf, mutters and pulls out a book.
"Read it and get back to me" he says. I complied. (feeling guilty I even opened my mouth). I left his office feeling very guilty, very selfish. This book was all about the sacrifices of modern day Christians and how there is no way no matter what we do, that we can ever make up for what Christ has done for us. Doesn't that seem hopeless to you? I'm sure it was meant to inspire a struggling Christian, but it had the opposite effect on me.
Rules, there are so many of them. If you follow all the rules, and are seen on Sunday morning, you are a "good" person. hmmmph. Being a "good person" exhausts me!
I brought the book back and was asked what did I think? Now, I know the 'Sunday school answers" to give for such a question, and to keep from being made to feel worse, I just gave the one the pastor was looking for. Inside however, I was searching.
As I was going through this 'struggle' our family started visiting other churches. I wanted to experience church like I did on the mission field. (where people were worshipping, serving, and where people came because they wanted to.) The God I fell in love with, the One who spoke quietly to me, the one who taught rest, that is the One I was searching for. My God didn't care what people wore, or didn't for that fact, where they lived, or what they could put into the offering plate!
At the time I was not happy to be going through this trial. But because I did, our family has found a church where yes, we serve, but with others! There is no guilt! No one there expects me, or my family to be there every time the doors are open. If we miss a week, yes, we are missed lovingly, not guilted next time we are seen. Due to this.. the church is growing, with growth comes more volunteers!
In all truth, God never left me, He merely moved me, our whole family into another church where if you feel lead to serve, serve. If you don't, come in and rest. It was okay! What a concept! Yes, there is such a church! And it's here in TN!
Personally, in my Bible I searched desperately for some verse, something tangible that I could hold on to that would let me know that God is not glorified by guilt, He doesn't move through guilt.
John 16: 33, " I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
Matthew 6: 34, " So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Romans 5:1, " Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us."
Colossians 3: 15, " let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts."
I believe God is not a god of discord, of restlessness, of guilt. Even God rested on the seventh day! God rested! He is a God of rest, peace!
I don't know where or what time in our culture we figured that he/she that is the busiest has the most fulfillment out of life, or is the better Christian. I challenge you to find that in the Bible. I haven't been able to.
God is calling all of human kind to Him. He has given us free will to either commit or turn from Him. We love our church family and pray for God to change hearts so that all churches can be a place of healing, of grace. God does want us to serve, but not when it is a detriment to ones self. If, and I believe He did create me, then I am a holy creation. I need to take care of myself by eating right, exercising, and yes, rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment